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red flags for men
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  • only child
  • too into board games
  • “i hate rom coms!”
  • really bad texter
  • only texts in paragraphs ((related to previous))
  • only drinks beer when going out
  • hypes up parents too much
  • too into cats
  • calls dogs “puppers”
  • makes niche activity or interest central personality trait
  • eats with mouth open
  • “you’re the only one who gets me!”
  • MOUTH BREATHER (at night facing you)
  • “you’re really relatable!”
  • climber
  • too outdoorsy
  • a capella (clef hangers especially)
  • strong thoughts and feelings about star wars
  • calf tattoos
  • no female friends
  • only female friends
  • is into martial arts
  • skateboarding/long boarding
  • anyone who wears a neck gaiter or penny boards
  • participated in boy scouts past the age of 12
  • really likes andrew yang ((respect is fine, love is not..fuck the #yanggang)) ((an elon musk bro by any other name smells the mf same))
  • pete buttigieg fans
  • likes car seat headrest
  • The 1975
  • has tiktok clout
  • in a debate club or mock trial in college
  • lifted truck
  • is a Disney adult
  • heavily listens to Joe Rogan and/or quotes him
  • from florida
  • serious road rage
  • frosted tips
  • says coca cola instead of coke
  • android (situationally dependent!)
  • been in multiple accidents and claims that none of them are their fault
  • way too into marvel
  • comments on childbearing hips and/or says you look fertile
  • drinks milk
  • anyone who says “za” instead of pizza 
  • is a third (iii) or fourth (iv)
  • is named kyle
  • “you can match my dark sense of humor”
  • you don’t like their mom
  • vegan
  • gemini
  • transition lenses
  • drives a Toyota 4Runner from the 1990s ‼️
  • likes the book Dune and isn’t afraid to let you know
  • went to Princeton
  • lives in navy yard
  • j names
  • mustaches (ironic and unironic)
  • traditional medicine
  • competitive ultimate frisbee player
  • super into musical theater
  • anyone who says they are aloof
  • doesn’t have a license and isn’t from new york city proper
  • self identifies as a nerd
  • self identifies an an intellectual
  • teach for america ❌🤺
  • from new jersey
  • lives with parents ((situationally dependent))
  • aggressively into halloween
  • “there are medicinal benefits to micro dosing and kratom so i don’t really need to just get a fucking therapist!”
  • has flags in their bio
  • extremely close with extended family
  • cross necklaces
  • Catholics and Christians
  • either too into instagram or claims to not give a shit ((honestly applies to all social media))
  • roller skating
  • actively goes on reddit for “the news”
  • puts on real clothes every day (mostly a pandemic thing but still stands tbh)
  • drinks la croix everyday
  • majored in business
  • doesn’t dress appropriately for the weather 
  • runs late to most things
  • too into comic books
  • asks you to be in a relationship super quickly
  • being italian is an integral part of personality
  • super into thanksgiving as a man (misogynistic)
  • classic rock is spotify wrapped top genre
  • winks at you
  • open toed shoes are a big part of their wardrobe
  • thinks men getting manicures is gay
  • wears Aeropostale in the Year of Our Lord 2023
  • pooka necklace
  • daddy issues
  • frequent nose bleeds
  • loves cocaine
  • harvard
  • you think the red flags are specifically about you
  • mean to telemarketers
  • plays the clarinet
  • ferrets
  • you’re my best friend !!
  • war on drugs fan (band but also policy)
  • drives a mercedes
  • very into 100 gecs
  • into MMA fighting
  • self described gym rat
  • engages in spelunking
  • “i would definitely join a cult”
  • has married parents
  • lives in the greater DMV area
  • has had greater than 4 cats in their lifetime (childhood pets included) (by age 25)
  • both a cat and dog person
  • this is unisex, but being like Very into dogs
  • is named sebastian  
  • dj
  • self described history buff
  • likes charlie puth
  • wouldn’t do ketamine
  • or weed
  • super super close to siblings
  • poster about female orgasm in room
  • wears doc martens
  • drives a subaru wrx
  • thong sandals
  • poetry instagram
  • anti-Taylor Swift but cannot provide specific critiques

in relatability we trust <3 


INSTAGRAM / EMAIL


tbd on what is going to be put here. much to think about